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The Rules of Confidence

No one can give it to you

I'm reminded of a boyfriend who had everything going for him – good looks, strong mind, hard body – everything but confidence. Confidence does not emerge from a magic number on the scale or from the compliments of others. Confidence comes through you and you alone. No one can give it to you.

Fake It ‘Till You Make It – Confidence, Not Skills

I don't recommend wearing your fears and insecurities on your sleeve, but it's a good idea to have an accurate sense of your true confidence level as you begin your Quest. While you can fake poise, comfort and security, you can't fake skills and knowledge. It's a critical difference. Faking confidence during a nerve-racking sales meeting, for example, keeps the focus on your abilities, and in the end, you'll gain an authentic sense of grace under pressure. Pretending that you can hand-knit 500 sweaters for Bloomingdales – by next week – will set you up for failure and ultimately, undermine your confidence.

Earn It Through Action

While visualizations are a great way to start building your mental confidence, there is no substitute for action. Confidence is something that you earn, and that you build through action – and not just any action. The quickest and most effective way to foster your confidence is by following your gut and acting directly on your instincts, value base and understanding of Who You Think You Are.

Follow the Leader

There is nothing wrong and everything right about getting into line and using the confidence, actions and solutions of others to lead the way. Acquaint yourself with everyone who has succeeded (and not succeeded) at the leap you are about to take. While no one else can give you confidence, others can sure inspire it!

Be Prepared

Really – don't go into a leap without preparation. You might be scared in the face of a challenge, but don't be scared AND foolish. Failure is difficult, but if you have done everything in your power to prepare, you can walk away with a sense of pride and confidence in knowing you tried your best. I know from my own experience that if you fail due to your own lack of foresight, effort and preparation, you can seriously erode your confidence level.

Go Big

Confidence building is sort of like investing your money: The bigger the risk, the greater the potential for return. Consider taking your risk or challenge one step further. Your confidence will grow in direct proportion to the size of the challenge.

About Nicole Williams

Company: Wildly Sophisticated Media
Website: http://wildlysophisticated.com/

Nicole Williams is the founder of Wildly Sophisticated Media the first-to-market, contemporary lifestyle brand that embodies self-discovery and self-empowerment for career-minded and entrepreneurial women.

Nicole is the author of the national bestseller, Wildly Sophisticated: A Bold New Attitude for Career Success, and the recently released, Earn What You're Worth: A Wildly Sophisticated Approach to Investing in Your Career and Yourself. She is the co-creator, with producers Force Four Entertainment, of the television series Making It Big, broadcast on the Life and Oxygen Network.

Nicole's career advice has been seen in Elle, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Self, Complete Woman, New York Post, The Washington Post and The Financial Times. She has also appeared on broadcast media outlets including CNN, Good Day New York, Fox News and a myriad of regional TV and radio stations.

With the mission of supporting women's careers, WSM has provided human resource consultation and event marketing programs across the country for companies including, Saks, Banana Republic, Ford Lincoln Mercury, HSBC, Electronic Arts (EA Sports), Telus Communications and Women's Entertainment.